Alexander's Law of Stacked Bad Luck

How many of you remember this book? Now, keep it mind while you read...

I woke up one morning, around 7, and as I stumbled to the bathroom, I stubbed my little pinky toe on the metal bed post. %*&#! You know how bad that hurts, right? Especially when it’s the little one, because it gets bent all sideways and feels like it snapped off ‘cause there is no toe on its one side?  Anyway, I finish peeing and inspecting my pseudo broken toe and I walk out, and freeze, staring at a giant pee spot on the carpet. HUH? What’s that all about? Gracie never has accidents…? So, I walk around the spot, downstairs and I’m looking under the sink for carpet cleaner. First, I can’t find it, so I’m knocking everything over in the meantime, getting angrier and angrier and then I finally find it in the wayyyy back and there are two. One’s almost empty and one’s full. Being that my toe is throbbing and I just want to hurry up and clean the pee so I can get in the shower, I grab the full one so I don’t have to pull the trigger 317 times to get a half-ass foamy squirt out.  I am pretty much at the end of my rope. So, I stand up and my legs are all achey from squatting for so long and I walk three steps and the bottom to the freaking bottle crashes to the floor, leaving me with the stupid trigger in my hand and a gallon of cleaner E V E R Y W H E R E.

UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I violently clean up the spilled liquid and am holding back tears because I’m so mad at all the stupid things that have happened in like 7 minutes and then I kinda clean up the pee and without another word, I got in bed, covered up, reset my alarm and decided I needed to start my day over in about a half hour. I was way over my threshold.

"I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there's gum in my hair and
when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake
I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could
tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day."

Read this blog before continuing:
 http://reactivechampion.blogspot.com/2013/06/the-stress-bathtub.html

No, really, go read it.  

If you're a big jerk, and said, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll read it later” and skipped it, then here’s a summary of the analogy:  
Each dog has a bathtub in which their stress fills or drains.  Some dogs start with an empty bathtub and some dogs that are more anxious or unstable start with a partially filled bathtub. As stressors occur (dogs walking by, a loud noise, being yelled at, hurting yourself, anything perceived as upsetting), the bathtub fills a little bit more.  If a dog has no pre-existing stress in his bathtub, then he can handle a lot of stressors before his stress runs over the top and he goes over threshold.  If he is already starting with a half-filled bathtub, it only takes a few things to send that dog over threshold.  Now, the greatest thing about this analogy is a bathtub isn’t like a bucket. You can’t just dump it out and start again. All dog’s stress drains differently. Some drain slow, some drain quicker, but for all dogs, once threshold has been reached, learning stops occurring and it’s going to take a good 24 hours or more for that dog’s stress levels to recede back to normal.  Amazing, right?

Thinking back to my terrible morning – had all of these things occurred in the afternoon, after I had been awake for awhile, it probably wouldn’t have had such a pronounced effect on me. But, the timing of when all of those stressors occurred, back to back to back and so early in the morning, was a perfect recipe for going over threshold. As a human, I can say, “WOAH. I need a break.” As a dog, they try to tell us in the only way they know how; barking, reacting, whining, whimpering, running away, mouthing, shaking, etc.

Here's an example of a typical walk with stacked stressors: Unbeknownst to you, your dog stepped on a pinecone on your daily walk so keeps leaning into your leg 'cause his foot hurts, but you fuss at him to stop, so he does, but his foot still hurts.  Then, a dog runs up to his face and wasn't being nice at all, but he kept his cool and when you started walking again, he had to poop, but you kept walking, cause you thought he was just sniffing again, so he had to keep walking, too.  And then, when he couldn't hold it any longer, he stopped to poop but it was on the sidewalk and he got choked cause you kept walking and then when you turned around, he got scared you'd be mad, and then a flock of geese flew overhead right as a dog walked by and looked in his direction, and he suddenly goes ballistic.  Lots of stressors, not one of them is a huge deal, but allllll stacked up - BAM. Over threshold.

If your dog goes over threshold, have the courage to say, “Ok, we’ll try again some other time” and go home.  Forcing your dog to cope is unfair to your dog and can have drastic side effects, as well as some redirected behavior onto you.   

Listen to your dog. If you don’t know how, find a local trainer who can help you. Your dog is trying to communicate with you - are you listening?

"Well, what do you do when they're bad?"

I was talking to a friend from college recently and she said, “I know you are all about positive reinforcement to encourage the behaviors you want, but what if they do something bad? Like something they know they shouldn’t do? Do you yell at them?”

I realized at that moment, that in all my passion to post all of these ideas of how to teach your dog what TO DO, instead of punishing for what you don’t, I neglected to state what I do in the interim: like when my dog chases my cats or jumps up on the counter. Those are things that I’m not willing to ignore. Nor, do I. 
 

I have yelled at Gracie, I have smacked her butt a time or two, but what I use most often is the equivalent of when your Mom would say, “You’ve really disappointed me” and I say, “No, ma’am, that is SO SAD.” I say it in the same tone every time and each time, she goes to her bed or the couch and puts her head down on her paws and stares at me. I didn’t explicitly teach her that, but she’s learned over time that I won’t fuss at her anymore if she does that.  After a few minutes, I say, “Ok” and she runs over to me for hugs and love. 

Dogs do bad things. Sometimes, they do really bad things like eat an entire couch, or tear down the blinds in every window in the house, but harboring those emotions will only hurt the relationship between you and your dog.  Allow yourself to act like a 3 year old for a minute and stomp around huffing and puffing as you pick up the minuscule beads from the now-shredded bean bag you just bought your child yesterday.  Your dog knows that you’re unhappy. THAT is why they are cowering, or in Gracie’s case – putting her head down on her paws. It’s not the behavior they did an hour ago or even five minutes ago.  So, after your toddler tantrum, don’t shun your dog.  Think hard about WHY they did it:

Is she bored? Is she not getting enough attention? Did anyone exercise her today? Have we taught her that the bean bag is not a dog toy? Is it anxiety? Who was supervising?

Once you figure out the "Why?", situations like this will happen less and less.  Focus on your dog’s positive attributes and expand on those as much as you can. By strengthening them, you form a better bond with your dog and you’ll find that many of their flaws will shrivel up, and eventually, be a thing of the past.

The Worst Learning Experience

Imagine you are 3 and you're taken to a field. You see a ball, a bat and a glove. You happily trot over and go pick up the ball, but are surprised by a forceful "NO!".  You are super confused, but recover quickly, because, hey, you're 3.  You move away from the ball and far away from that scary person because, apparently, neither are safe things to be around. You wander around and you see the bat lying there. A little more hesitantly, you look around to make sure Scary Person isn't around and pick up the bat.  A few seconds later, you're so absorbed turning this new found treasure over in your hands and trying to figure out what it does. You've never seen something this shiny and round! Suddenly you hear a loud, "NO!" and a simultaneous head smack. You immediately drop the bat and move far away from the area.  At this point, you are too scared to pick up the glove, so you just sit in the dugout trying to figure out your next move that won't get you in trouble.  Scary Person moves in your direction and you panic, thinking about the last two experiences you had in which this person yelled at you and hit you, so you bolt out of the dugout onto the field. Scary Person is even more angry that you moved away from her, and without saying a word, you can tell that she's angry as she strides your way.  You finally sink to your knees, cover your head - shutting down because of the uncertainty and new found insecurity, finally screaming, "I don't know what you want me to do! Please tell me! Give me a hint!"

Sounds like a terrible way to learn how to play baseball, right? But wait, you didn't learn this way? Oh, you say that your parents SHOWED you how to put the glove on and MODELED how to stand, throw and catch?  They DEMONSTRATED how to do it correctly and SHAPED your skills as you became more confident and experienced? Well, that is how learning should be! Bravo to them!

However, the previous example is the daily life of the average dog being trained, or "learning", with aversive methods: E-collar, prong collar, hard leash jerks, alpha rolls, etc.  It is a constant guessing game for the dog. You are waiting for them to do something wrong and then telling them what NOT to do, instead of showing them what TO DO.   If a dog doesn't know what it's doing wrong (like pulling), it will never understand that your hard yank means, "STOP PULLING".  However, giving good things when your dog is by your side will, by nature, make the pulling happen less often. Make sense?

Here's another real world example:

Just imagine trying to navigate and learn a new job and as you stand in the middle of the room, everyone goes about their business but no one gives you any direction on what you should be doing.  You begin to try to figure it out and touch the phone, but are quickly reprimanded loudly, "NO. That's WRONG!" Feeling embarrassed, you move to the copier and just as you move your arm to touch it, a man pokes you in the arm, hard. "NO. That's WRONG."  How many things would you try before you find the activity they want you to be doing? Or would you be so dejected and depressed by the third or fourth reprimand that you would want to wash your hands of the job itself?  Humans would never expect each other to know what to do without someone showing you first. So, why do we expect dogs to do this?

Notice the difference in body language of the same dog: ears back vs forward, open mouth vs closed mouth, eyes averting the owner vs focusing on the owner

Your dog will repeat behaviors that are safe, secure and get him good things. If you tell him clearly what those things are, he will love to repeat them. If you never show him, do you know how many behaviors he will try in the meantime hoping for it to be the right one? If humans learned the way most people teach their dogs, more people would be against aversive methods. Maybe they should start calling the aversive methods what they are, "Figure out on your own what I'm trying to teach you and anytime you get it wrong, I shock/hit/hurt you". Yeah, sounds terrific.

Please consider training force-free. There is a time and place for aversive methods but they are for the animals that need serious rehabilitation and PROFESSIONALS are using it as a tool to ensure the safety of all involved. Force free training may take a little longer but your results will last much longer (not just until the collar comes off) and you'll have a better relationship with your dog. Promise.

Below are some force-free training facilities/trainers in Charlotte, NC.  You may google "Force free trainers in ________" if you are interested in local trainers near you!

Zoom Room - http://www.zoomroomonline.com/charlotte-dog-training.html
 

Tega K9 Training - http://www.tegak9.com/

A Better Dog - http://betterdog1-px.rtrk.com/dog-training/north-carolina/charlotte-nc/index.html

Ahead of the Pack Dog Training - http://www.aheadofthepackdogtraining.com/

E. Coli and Molasses

Every time you walk your dog…

Every time you take your dog to the vet…

Every time your dog sits in front of the storm door…

Someone is watching. Someone is observing. Someone is making judgments.

Is your dog’s behavior contributing to their negative perception or chalking up another tally for the positive?

If you own a dog that is a bully breed, you took on a very important role without knowing it. You and your dog are put on the spot every day, all day, especially when in public. How is your dog's behavior contributing to the pit bull reputation? Now don’t get me wrong - we make mistakes, training isn't practiced enough and new experiences can be scary, but overall – can you say that your dog leaves a positive or negative impression on the people that pass by?

Every person that even glances at your dog is taking away some sort of an opinion. Whether they realize it is a pit bull or not, whether they have incorrectly labeled your dog as a pit bull, or whether it was from 1 foot away or 1 block away - was their experience a good one? Was your dog sitting alert, waiting for your command? Or was your dog yanking you towards the other dog walking down the street, then getting growly due to the inappropriate meet and greet?   Did your dog bark viciously when a family with a toddler and a dog walked by the house? Or did they have a few alert barks then wag their tail, looking to you for direction?

Like a review after a movie, each person that views your dog also leaves with an opinion of your dog.   And because your dog is a pit bull type dog, that opinion matters.  Times, like, a MILLION.  I like to think that each person in the world has a Little Tykes blue and yellow chalkboard in their head and when they see a pit bull on a walk and said pit bull doesn’t attack them, jump, lunge, or do anything insanely scary, a big, over sized piece of chalk puts a tally in the positive column.  But if your dog is pulling, barking, getting growly, wearing really tough looking harnesses or collars or even playing really vocally, that same giant piece of pastel colored chalk can put a bunch of tallies in the negative.  Like everything in life, negative information spreads like E.Coli while positive information spreads like molasses.  Don’t let your dog put notches in the negative category for anyone, ever. 

Remember, it’s the person that doesn’t ask questions, that doesn’t take the risk of petting your dog, that stands in the background that is judging the most.   Don’t give that person anything worth judging.  Be a positive role model; your actions do make a difference.