Passion is a Double-Edged Sword

I am a very open and honest person.  I have learned not to lie, partly because I am freaking terrible at it, but mostly because one lie turns into 19 lies and the slippery slope continues as people talk to one another and you now have to stress out trying to remember the different things that you told different people and at what time. Screw. That.

I have also learned that I was born with no filter on my mouth.  The only trouble I ever got into involved me and my big, fat mouth because things just spew out of them as fast as my brain thinks of them.  I have put my foot in my mouth more times than I care to remember.  In the past few years since college (and moving down South where I was forced to listen to people talk slower, move slower and driiiiive slower), I have become more conscious of the effects my words can have on people – good and bad. And, as God intended, this not-so-great characteristic of me created a quality that I am thankful each day that I acquired (with a lot of help from my mama): the ability to accept my actions and take responsibility for them. 

I am reminded of how far I’ve come by one small slip backwards…

********************************************

Trey and I are considering moving out of our townhome.  We love the place and location but we hate, H. A. T. E., our laminate floors with a passion that burns so deep we lash out at one another while cleaning up every stray drop of drool, water, condensation, you name it.  The floors are so fragile that the smallest drop of liquid seeps in and soaks into the flooring, creating ridges where it should be smooth.  Maybe it is just not sealed properly, but by golly, this flooring is horrendous.  Looks nice, but stresses us the hell out.  So I started looking for rental places. Except, that’s not so easy when not only do you have two cats and a dog, but your dog is a pit bull. And not even just one pitbull, but a revolving door of foster pit bulls every month or two.  As I look on Craigslist and find mostly scam, but some real ads, I send a routine, not-much-detail message to get a feel for what type of person owns the property.  If a person responds in a normal manner, then I go ahead and send them my customized letter and put the ball in their court.

Here is my original email to a potential rental property:

Hello!

I am very interested in your posting on Craigslist for the rental property.  When is it available? It sounds like just what my boyfriend and I are looking for.  Also, do you have any type of pet restrictions? We look forward to hearing back from you!

Shana and Trey 

Receiving 4 spam emails from West Africa and Nigeria for every 5 emails I send out, the following answer came with a bit of relief. I thought, There ARE real people on Craigslist! 

Hello,

This home will be available approximately 3 weeks from the day we receive an approved application and deposit to hold. Pets are allowed, the only restrictions are dogs that are considered biters, i.e., Pitt Bulls, Rottweiler, German Sheppard, Chow, Doberman and a few others. Please call me for the complete list. If you would like to apply for this location please visit our website, print off an application and fax it over to me.

Thanks,

(Name omitted)
Asset Property Management Team

Now, it could very well have been the NC Amendment that I rallied against and voted against that, to my dismay, was passed yesterday, but I was in a bad mood when it came to prejudices.  I read that email, and my heart burst out of my chest. Hot blood rose up my neck and I could feel my cheeks flush. My eyes squinted with adrenaline-filled resentment. Biters? Biters?! Not even the typical “restricted aggressive breeds” which I can attribute to a prey drive of small animals, but you just deemed my dog, my sweet Tucker, a senseless man-eater?! Oh, no you didn’t.

I needed to right this wrong.   I needed to take a stand for myself and anyone else that she has emailed in her time at this company.  I needed to write this woman and tell her in my favorite professional F.U. way that not only was I NOT renting from her, but I was going to tell my friends and family not to either.  Maybe the thought of having a bad reputation would make her think twice about not only pinpointing specific type dogs in her email, but implying that they are “biters”.   By perpetuating the stereotype for every single email that comes in her inbox, people that have no experience with those dogs, may choose to believe the words on their screen, simply because they are written there.  The Mama Bear unfair bias that I felt for my previously neglected, starved, bred and abused, sweet dogs – Mama Kris, Cagney, Bindi, Cooper and Tucker – needed an outlet. 

Alicia (name changed),  

I am going to vehemently decline any listing of units that you have, as I would rather not rent from you and I will have my friends and colleagues steer clear from any company you associate with, as well.  It is obvious that you have some unfair judgments made about specific types of dogs, as Chihuahuas and Dalmatians can be "biters" too, but I don't see them on your list. Please rephrase your pet policy to be a case-by-case basis, and meet each dog personally to decide if it is suitable to live in your unit, regardless of size or breed. I can only conclude that your bias against animals in this blatant way can be directly related to your prejudices among people, as well.  I will be sure to save your name, and not for the reason you'd hoped for.

I didn’t feel any better about it (hello, red flag!) but smiled to myself as I pressed the Send button.  Take that!  This obviously and completely ignorant, bias, uneducated woman was getting a piece of my mind and I loved it.  People like this need to have a little piece of reality once in a while, I told myself. I copy and pasted it immediately in the rescue foster parent board and got great responses:

“Great job!”

“Good response!”

“You rock, Shana!”

I've had some really great emails along these lines and some really great responses from the receiving end as well as virtual pats on the back from my foster friends.  But this one was different.

Because then I got the response that dropped my stomach through my feet.  I am not doctoring this for the sake of myself, because what she wrote is honest and true.  Just like the way I’ve always been and sometimes,

the people that are
the most brutally honest
need a dose of it themselves.

Shana, I understand your concern for animals, however this is not a rule nor policy that I have personally implemented. It is a requirement of our Insurance provider. If you feel you must rant your concerns and stereotype someone as being prejudice, please make sure that you are certain of ALL THE FACTS before you begin your judgment against anyone. 

As I sit there, staring at my phone screen and rereading the email for a second, and then third time, my phone alerts me to another message.

 On a further note, my house recently burnt down… I lost everything I owned, including a dog and two cats that I loved as if they were my very own children. I hope that you do not present yourself to people this way in the future because you have upset me and caused extreme pain that I have been trying to cope with, only to be revealed again.

I only hope for that in the future, you will be careful of what you say to people, until you have walked in their shoes, you have no idea what they have been through. Thanks again for allowing me to re-visit the most painful time of my life.

Ouch.

Like really-truly-I’ll-remember-this-forever ouch.

I didn’t even know where to begin, but I knew that I had broken the one rule that I made to myself a few years ago that has made me a better person: No matter what I’m going through, the battles that the other person is facing are probably a hell of a lot worse than mine.  So always give kind words and a smile, because you never know whose day you’ll turn around with a little compassion and understanding.

I prepared myself for the email response, debating on the direction I wanted to take.  Did I want to apologize and then still bring it back to the pet policy issue?  Did I want to stand my ground and just give a little, “I’m sorry that happened to you but…” I figured I’d just see where my writing took me.

I ended up doing neither.

Alicia, 

I sincerely apologize for my assumption that your original email was your own thoughts and perspective. I admit that I didn't even think twice that your management company may have policies and restrictions that you are bound to. The use of the word and implications behind your statement about "biters" made my blood boil, and I have silently deleted emails time and time again that have prejudices against my babies. The word "biters" created an image in my head that I felt was so unjust for my smooshy, lover boy at home that I needed to set something right, and at the very least, make this woman think twice about her dang pet policy. I have personally seen a family survive through an ordeal similar to yours and I admit that it must be an extremely hard journey to come back from. I pray that your road will be short and that you will find solace along your way.  Alicia, I try to live by the thought that everyone is fighting their own battle in some way and to give people a smile instead of a dirty look for the rude comment or exasperation in their voice, and I lapsed for a moment in my thinking. Thank you for reminding me how important it is to stay true to those thoughts.

          Good prayers coming your way,
          Shana

My apology didn’t make me feel any better, so I’m certain it didn’t do much for the other end either.  I had hurt this woman, forced her to remember a traumatic and life-altering experience that she was trying so hard to squash down in her heart.  Looking back at my email, I realized that I accomplished my goal of sounding educated, but unknowingly came across as vindictive and cold-hearted, reopening her fresh wound.  Always an advocate for the underdog, always, I just took a broken and hurting one and kicked her when she was down. And then stomped on her heart with the click of a mouse.  The rawness of my words rattled around my head as I tried to wrap my mind around how this woman probably sat at her desk, across from her colleagues, trying desperately to swallow the hard lump in her throat, eyes brimming with hot tears, as she excuses herself from the computer and takes an early lunch to release the tears in privacy.  When she woke up this morning, she no doubt told herself, Today will be a better day. Except it wasn't. Because of me.

Written words can slice through a person like a burning knife, but a written apology? Hardly meaningful. Maybe this woman had a pit bull, or a Rottweiler, or a German Shepherd that was killed in the fire. Maybe she had a foster dog and 2 cats of her own, just like me. I was so blinded by my own tenacity to stand up for my animals, that I forgot that we’re all in the same boat.  Maybe she's fighting prejudice and BSL, just like me.

Some people will jump ship when things get hard, some hunker down and weather the storm and some stand up and take charge.  I’m the “take charge” type, but the one next to me weathering the storm is just as important in this battle.  Just because she happens to be following a policy that she may or may not believe in, doesn't mean she is the proper spot to outlet my anger at the plight of pit bulls.  Anger can blind a person from educating or sharing their opinion in a professional manner, and it happens frequently, especially with controversial issues, such as pit bulls.  Raising pure hell and screaming obscenities never gets anyone anywhere, but either does politely-put cut-downs.

It’s been a while since I put my foot in my mouth, until today that is.  It serves as a painful reminder that everyone is struggling, in one way or another.

Passion is a double-edged sword.
Use it wisely and you'll do great things.
Use it poorly and even the best qualities will be destroyed.  

Team Triumph

Some people have revelations about themselves.  Some people have revelations about their jobs.  Some people have revelations about neuroscience.  I always knew I was different … 

I just had a revelation about dogs.

 

Follow me here:

Dogs pulling on their leashes during walks is a ridiculously annoying and common problem that almost all dog owners have.  It’s frustrating, embarrassing and causes stress during what should be a fun, calm daily routine.  In fact, even the best owners have trouble with this: 

“No matter how many times I give a correction, no matter what leash, collar or harness combination I use, he still pulls.  I’ve begun to think that he likes being choked! It’s no fun to walk him, and I hate to admit it, but our daily walks have turned into bi-weekly walks and his behavior has taken a turn for the worse.  I have used everything from gentle leaders to prong collars and I just don’t know what to do. He’s stronger than me and he knows it. Help, please.”

I have even fallen prey to the leash woes. I would do the corrections when the dog would pass my knee, enforcing that there was an invisible line there that the dog was not allowed to cross.  I had done the stop walking and turn in the other direction when the dog walks in front of you, thereby increasing the amount of time the dog follows you as opposed to the other way around.  I had walked backwards when the dog pulled, then rewarded for eye contact and walking back towards me.  They all worked or didn't work to their own degree. But today, I had an epiphany.

I was driving home from work and thinking about a dog that I had seen posted on FaceBook that is living chained to a doghouse in Gastonia, NC.  This dog is not spayed, has already had puppies and the owner is giving it away, first-come-first-served style.  (Fingers crossed that no backyard breeder or pitbull fighter sees her picture!)  I thought to myself, “I bet she doesn’t put her head down and drive her shoulders forward, trying to pull the doghouse like she would a person if she were on a leash”.  And the so-called light bulb went off.  

What if, during walks, the leash was tied to an immovable object (or the dog thought was immovable)? What if, during walks, the leash was tied to me, as opposed to in my hand?  What if, during walks, we walked together, as opposed to me walking them? 

LET’S DO IT!

Using my regular 5 foot leash and one carabineer hook, I created a loop to go around my waist, then clipped the dog’s regular collar to the end of the leash. No harness, no special collar here, folks.  I wanted to see how this works from square 1.  

Now, Tucker is not a super-duper handful from the start, but he does pull when he wants to go greet or smell something. However, it was so much easier for him to understand what I wanted by having him attached to me.  I also absolutely loved having both hands free to give commands, get the mail, treat for good behavior, etc., as well as not have to constantly be fixing, looping and stepping over the leash.  I could feel the difference in the connection between us almost instantaneously.

So my new rules for walks are this:

You, canine, are now a part of me. We go together, we do together.  Our walks will now be an adventure where nothing will slow us down or cause us to veer off course. If I stop to tie my shoe, you stop as well.  If I get a sip from the water fountain, you stand next to me waiting your turn. You mimic me in all ways possible.  We are a team.  Where you used to get a few steps out of pulling before, all movement now ceases to exist and you will receive silent patience until you are back in position.  We will conquer the streets together, turn every head we see with the confidence we exude, and then I will bring you to super fun places and let you off-leash to run free.  K? Ready, set, BREAK.

My teammate is ready to go conquer the world with me!!

Now, I totally know that this is not rocket science and there are probably a bajillion articles written on this topic already; like this great one that gives you step by step instructions - http://www.alop.org/2011/10/dog-walking-tips/, but I'm stoked that I have come to a new place in my dog training.

I no longer walk my dogs, my dogs and I walk together!
We walk together to find new adventures, new friends and most of all,
to show the world that pitbulls ROCK!

The Flirt Pole: a dog's new best friend..

Understandably, most people have never heard the term "flirt pole" before.  Flirt poles actually started with the felines. Yes, cats.  You know those skinny poles that have a dancing toy on the bottom that entices prey-driven kitties to chase, jump, attack, lunge and stalk? All those things that are so important for a cat to be able to engage in, even though they may live inside?

Well, all of those things are important in a dog's world, too! Humans like to be in control of these things (with good reason), so instead of letting a dog go free to chase, jump, attack, lunge and stalk everything that moves, we give a proper outlet.  This will work for ANY dog owner, big or small, plump or skinny, fast or slow.  Follow the ridiculously dummy-proof instructions below for a 5 minute, beyond priceless tool for you and your dogs.

**AWESOME ALERT: This flirt pole, if bought NEW, will cost you max $4 at the dollar store.  You can fancy it up of course, but there's no need. Dogs don't care. :) **


YOU WILL NEED:

Your dog's favorite toy; the bone toy was from the dollar store, the sock is out of my drawer and the fox is out of  the dog toy bin. Any will work, but use something your dog loves!

A skinny leash from the dollar store - this one is a small dog 3 foot leash which seems to work pretty well and be the right length for control.

Dollar store broom - preferably the one with the hole in the top of the handle as shown below: 

***********************





STEP ONE: Take broom head off of the broom.

STEP TWO: Feed loop end of leash through broom handle hole.

STEP THREE: Pull leash all the way through until the metal clasp is near the broom handle.

STEP FOUR: Feed metal clasp through the loop handle of the leash. 

STEP FIVE: Pull metal clasp completely through until it looks like this:

STEP SIX: Use clasp end to wrap around your dog's favorite toy.

STEP SEVEN: Clip metal clasp to itself.

STEP EIGHT: Tighten against the dog toy until it's secure.

 STEP NINE: GO OUTSIDE! To increase your dog's excitement and suspension, do command work before you allow him to play with his new awesome toy!  Tucker demonstrates a down-stay for the camera.

STEP TEN: Tired pup.





There you have it, folks.  An exercise tool that exhausts your dog while you stay in the same spot.  You don't have to take your border collie on a 5 mile hike to exercise him anymore ... just think like a rabbit and your toy on the end of the leash will be more than happy to oblige.


Want to see it in action? Click the link below to see Reggie (and Ninja Gracie!) with the flirt pole:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=720926735604&l=5367047223550048008
Happy Flirtpoling!!

The End of the Past, the Start of a New Beginning

Meet Tucker - formerly Mr. Wiggles.  This boy (and his sister) were taken in a cruelty/abuse case in North Carolina.  I have not fully found out the details of the case, but regardless, him and his sister are now in Carolina Care Bullies foster program and learning how to live the good life.  Tucker was a fantastic passenger during transport and wanted to just lay/sit/collapse every second that he could once out of the car.  When you open the bedroom door, he doesn't even try to get out, he's just so ecstatic that you are in his presence that he couldn't care less about what's outside.  His love has no boundaries and his complete and unwavering eye contact 6 inches from yours says, "Please, please, please don't ever stop loving me".

It's an amazing feeling to literally be a dog's world.  How easily a person can shatter that, especially when a dog is young..

Last night, Tucker saw himself in the storm door.  Like most dogs, a dog staring back at them from 10 feet away means, "Hey, you wanna piece of me?!"  Hackles raised, Tucker uttered a few short barks, "Hey dog with a staring problem, get away from my people and my door!".  Like we do with all of our fosters, I get up to walk to the door with him to show him all is okay.  He didn't follow me (flag #1 since he's my shadow) and while I stood at the door, I made a "come here" motion with my hand as I said, "Come see buddy!"  He immediately tightly tucked his tail between his legs, flattened his body to the ground and slinked to the corner where he quickly pushed his face into the corner of the wall.  When we went to get him, he just needed a few pats and he was back to his lovey self.  Earlier this morning, I tried to show Tucker the window where all my dogs get to watch the world go by outside and when I patted the windowsill next to me, he flattened his body and ducked his head under the bed to hide.

We'll never know exactly what Tucker grew up around, but we do know that he's in a good place and will get all the love, support and boundaries that he should have had from the start.  Here's to new beginnings Tucker!!! And don't worry, we won't ever stop loving you :)

DNE #550

Do Not Euthanize #550.

This is #550.


Terrified, tense, and resigned to his fate, the only buddies he’d ever known – his mother and sister that were dumped there with him – were already in a back bin somewhere waiting to be taken to wherever they take the euthanized dogs.  The dead ones.  The destroyed ones.  Somehow, an angel had been looking over #550 and he was spared the needle and brought into the Vet Tech program, only to be placed back on the Euth List a few days later.  A worker at the shelter, Jenn Arias, had been desperately networking #550, but with only the below information to go on, a picture of a fearful dog, and the label of animal aggression, it became an arduous task:

2-17 returned from vet tech

Euthanasia Date 2/20/2012

46 lb intact male, HW negative, DHPP, animal aggressive(?)
resource guarder
editor's note: came in with other dogs that he got along fine with

2-9 had been scheduled for euth, but was held back 

Remarks: 
Shy

Trey and I had just experienced a tearful goodbye to Bindi earlier that Sunday morning, February 19^th,  and as I lay in bed listening to the soft noises from the TV, I was carefully monitoring the FB comments about this dog.  An adopter gets a 10 day adoption trial to decide if they truly want to make one of our foster dogs a part of their family.  If they decide it’s not a good fit, they are able to give them back in that 10 day period.  But Bindi was in Vermont. 15 hours away in Vermont. Surely, there’s no way that she’s coming back and there were tons of other dogs that were pouring into my inbox that I had the ability to save. Morally, how do you play God and decide who gets to live and who must die? My inbox had a cute brown pup with a hurt lip, a brown and white happy-looking dog that was going kennel crazy from being at the shelter so long, and scared #550.  Although he didn’t win the handsome award, the thoughts of #550 meeting death before he had even experienced life kept creeping into my mind.  The fact that #550 was brought in with other dogs, yet displayed animal aggression got under my skin. The idea that he may not be saved at all because he was deemed a resource guarder made me angry.  But most of all, the fact that #550 was unbelievably dirty in his intake picture hurt my heart.  That was the final straw.  This boy needed a calming, warm bath from a person that wanted to give him nothing but love, comfy bedding and a regular meal each morning and night. This boy needed me.

I emailed Jenn at 11:00pm, only single-digit hours until #550 received the fatal dose into his leg.

 “Ok, I’ll take him.”

11pm is the time that most people are tucked into their beds, ridding themselves of the day’s stress with clean sheets and a peaceful sleep.  But for shelter workers and animal lovers across the world, it is crunch time, networking like crazy to try to save dogs that don’t deserve to die.  Jenn’s email immediately came back with the scary reality: DNE #550. A subject line as pleading as Times New Roman from Gmail will allow - as if they may toss her email away by accident in the bustle of life, absent-mindedly and indirectly killing this dog before we could break him out.  But they didn’t.  They responded and the next morning set up his shots and neuter for the following day.  I was to pick him up after work on February 21, 2012.

The dog that Trey and I assumed he would be, even from being in the shelter and just going through surgery, was a totally incorrect assumption.  We thought we’d still see the light in his eyes, a wag in his tail, recognition that these people were here to help.

There was none of that.

Fearful dogs can become a hazard extremely easily, and as Trey opened the car door, I watched his body language. Stiff, rigid, terrified, helpless.  He wouldn’t even move his head to look at us, just watched with his eyes trained on us, judging us, trying to read us.  As I gently picked him up to ease him in the car, his legs stiff, his body unmoving, I retrieved my stash of extra dog food from the glove box and tried to lure him from the other side. After a few minutes of pleading and prodding, we were able to shut the car door, but not before noticing that he was missing his bottom canine and part of his tongue. What kind of past did this dog have to survive in order to finally make it here?

As we pulled away, I said, “Trey, he needs a name.” I looked at the spot we had picked him up, Hooper’s Tavern. 

“What about Cooper?”

*******************************************

The dog that we had seen that night became a completely different dog over the course of the first day, first week and the total of 33 days.  This dog was happy. Like really happy.  Like makes-you-want-to-laugh-every-second happy.  From wagging his tail constantly and with so much force that it leaves red marks on your calves, or pinning your shoulders with his paws and lathering your face full of kisses or immediately rolling around in the grass every single potty break for at least the first week, Cooper was ecstatic to be alive.  I only wish that I could have bottled up his happiness and carried it around with me, taking frequent sniffs to remind me to stop and smell the roses more often and maybe even take part in a belly roll or two down a big, grassy hill. 

Cooper was a stellar foster from the get-go - never showed any aggression towards my cats, never chasing, and being extremely patient with both of them.  His only fault was trying to play every now and then when my lazy cat would do a half-ass attempt at a swat.  Cooper was slightly fearful of dogs bigger than himself but very gentle with dogs smaller, and boy, did Cooper LOVE tennis balls.  Forget the flirt pole, forget Frisbees, just get a tennis ball and he would be happy for an hour entertaining himself with it.  This silly boy was a heartbreaker with crowds at Home Depot and Lowe’s, leaning into people for love, leaving his trademark white hair with a touch of black on their shins.  When Cooper met my 11 month old niece, he sniffed her foot and hand delicately before taking an exploratory lick of her chubby hand, causing high-pitched squeals from her.  Everyone loves Cooper.  

And no one showed their love more than his newly adoptive parents, Matt and Jillian.  This engaged couple had a soft spot in their hearts for pitbulls, but wanted to wait until after their wedding in September to adopt.  That was before they saw Cooper and fell head over heels in love with our goofball.

They did everything in their power to make this dog an awesome part of their family, from following the suggestion for the Two Week Shut Down to buying the same crate and food to ease his transition.  As Matt and Jillian drove away with Cooper last Sunday, they also took with them the powerful happy-go-lucky air that Cooper emits. Like a drug that had run it’s course, Trey and I seemed drained of his happiness and drove the hour and a half home, mostly in silence, but content, because knowing that Cooper is going to have a full and wonderful life is the goal of this.  We were simply a stepping stone for him.  An important, no, life-or-death stepping stone that I hope every one of you will have the honor to feel someday.  And as much as we miss his kisses and knowing when he’s getting into something by the rhythmic banging of his tail, we can’t wait to do it again soon.

You made it #550.  We know angels were looking over you that day. And we know you’ll make those 2 look-alike angels from Doggie Heaven proud. Won’t ya buddy? 




Check out Cooper's (now known as Capo's) journey below:

Fate just has a way..

Bindi and Kya (my full-grown 2 year old 8lb kitten) had a routine in which they would both jump on my bed each morning after the morning feeding and walk, and catch an early morning snooze while I got ready for work.  Not even the blow dryer would disturb their slumber.   When I was ready for work, I'd say, “Let’s go potty!” and Bindi would jump up, along with Kya, and race downstairs.  Now for what? I don’t know.  Kya doesn’t get to go out, and chooses instead to sit in the window and play with the blinds, and Bindi hated the swampy, cold grass that she was being asked to pee in.  Regardless, they had this routine down to a science.  
When I first brought Bindi home, I hoped for peace.  I didn’t know that I’d get harmony.

                           

Many people have asked, “How did you do it?” or “My dog still has issues with my cat, what can I do different?”  Bindi was very eager to please and didn’t like to be in trouble so she was fairly easy once she understood what I wanted.  The following process may not work for every dog – i.e. the leash corrections that I did religiously with Bindi for 6 weeks to walk on a leash just did not work for her.  I changed technique and found something that worked for us.  Please, please, take this idea and tweak it to create something that fits your life and your dog.  With enough time and effort, every home can live in peace.
With consistency, you might even find harmony.

NOTE: *Click* refers to clicker training, a way of saying “Great Job!” to your dog.  You can also use a word like “Yes” or “Ok”, which tells your dog that he’s doing something you like.For more information on that, click HERE.

*I used bacon bits, sausage crumbles, goldfish crackers, green beans, bananas, anything that Bindi found utterly amazing, I used it. I wanted the understanding ‘Cats=Awesome treats’.  If you are worried about your dog gaining weight, you can use green beans or the kibble from their next meal. Just measure it out and after training, they get the remaining kibble in their dish.

Desensitizing a dog to cats:

1. Leash pressure. If your dog is strong (like Bindi was), I suggest using a gentle leader.  Makes your life much easier!  Otherwise, snap a leash on your dog.  With no cats present, and holding the end of the leash, begin walking.  When your dog gets interested in something and is out at the end of the leash, simply stop, turn to look at your dog, move the leash down so it is even with your dog and parallel to the floor and keep steady, gentle pressure on the leash.  No words, no whistling, no commands.  Just wait.  The split second your dog turns to look at you, *click* *treat* *lots of praise and petting*. Continue walking.  Use the distractions around your house as opportunities to work on leash pressure.  Important: NEVER tug, yank back or give negative attention for pulling.  The idea is for them to associate looking at you and coming towards you with wonderful praise and rewards.  The better you and your dog get at this step, the easier it will be when cats are in the picture.

2. Distance leash pressure with cats.  Create a situation where your cat will be staying still.  I used a tuna juice treat in a container or a baby gate in a doorway when the cat was lying on the bed in view.  The idea of this step is for you to continue the leash pressure; the goal is for your dog to hold focus on you.  Your dog will most likely go to the end of the leash, pulling toward the cat. Again, stop (I used to squat down), and hold steady pressure.  Be patient! The second/minute the attention goes from the cat to you, *click* *treat*.  When your dog begins to understand the relationship between the cats and the treats, they will begin to easily look at the cat, then back to you, expecting a treat (and for good reason!). Continue this for 5 minute sessions a few times a day, and you can move to the next step when you see the attention turn more to you instead of the cat.  You may even stay on this step for a week or so.  Depending on how curious your dog is about the cat, this is a great step to hold steady on until they’ve got it down pat.

3. Walking past the cat. Again, create a situation where the cat is still. I would take advantage of times when the cat would be sleeping on the back of the couch or the mantle of the fireplace.  At this point, the dog is probably realizing that you have wonderfully tasting treats in your pocket, so the attention might already be on you. That’s great!  As you walk, walk backwards facing your dog so your dog is essentially walking towards you for the treat.  If your dog notices the cat, and inevitably darts toward it or even just stares intently, do not yank or get frustrated.  This is part of your dog’s learning and is a fantastic opportunity to intervene and teach an appropriate behavior.  Calmly stop, hold steady pressure and again wait for your dog to focus on you, *click* *treat*.  The more you walk by your cat, the less attention your dog will give it because you, Holy Treat Holder, are way cooler! You may also hold treats in your hand so they can nibble at it as they walk, but not receive the whole thing.  Once past the cat, they may eat the rest of the treat.  You can move to the next step when your dog easily looks at the cat and back to you.

4. Moving Cats. Choose a time in which your cat is not overly active, but is walking and moving about.  Ignoring your cat, turn all attention to your dog.  Ask for his full attention using a “Watch Me” command or reviewing basic commands such as “Sit”, “Down” or “Paw”.  Your dog should be able to look pretty easily at the cat and then back to you.  If at any time the focus on the cat changes from a curious glance to a hardened look, walk in the other direction in a calm, slightly excited “Come on! Follow me!” attitude.  Once the attention is back on you, begin the commands again.  At this point in the process, you should be able to walk pretty freely around the house with your dog on the leash and your cat in the room.  Your dog should be able to look at the cat and back to you while walking without causing much distress or intensity/body position changes. 

Body language positions to avoid/signs of crossing the threshold:
          -stiff, raised tail (curled over their back or wagging above their backbone)
          -tense body, unresponsive to commands or leash pressure
          -hardened stare at the cat
          -ears perked, facing forward
          -jaw closed and tense
          -no use of their nose/no sniffing
          -hackles raised

5. Off Leash.  In this step, you probably won’t start out completely trusting your dog. Pretend you do for his sake though, and be sure to act confidently.  [[Please note: in order to successfully complete this step, you must have a sturdy foundation built from the previous steps as well as a great handle on your dog’s body language.  By this time, you should be able to describe your dog’s calm body language and at-threshold body language.]] I set up 2 escapes for my cats, a baby gate they could jump to leave the room, and then a high place in another room that a dog could not reach.  Keep a constant eye on your dog -- don’t start unloading the dishwasher or putting away toys or bills.  With clicker and treats in hand, catch his good behavior every time.  For example: looking at you instead of the cat, laying down, watching with a calm demeanor as opposed to focused glares, responding to his name or commands, or following you as you move around the room are all great things to treat for.  I did not let Bindi ever approach my cats.  She was able to smell them from afar, or if they walked near her she could smell them, but anything more than a gentle sniff was an immediate “Leave it” (don’t forget to teach this command first!).
***

Time, patience, consistency and knowing the threshold level for your dog are the most important aspect of desensitizing your dog to a cat.  You may have to start with a door closed between your dog and cat in order for your dog to be under threshold.  This is ok! Understand that your vigilance will shorten your desensitization training immensely.  Remember: Consistency is the key! If you only practiced eating with a fork once a week, it would take a pretty long time to master eating a meal.  But small spurts of practice, multiple times a day would have the skill mastered in just a few short days. 

 In the beginning, the only goal I set was that I wanted Bindi to be able to be in the same room without it causing over stimulation or stress.  Not only did she learn how to become completely calm around my cats, but she learned how to live harmoniously with them.  Through this process, Bindi taught me patience and she taught my kitties how to trust.  In the 4 months she was with us, she helped our household and I unwittingly did the best service to her than anyone could, because by helping her live in harmony with my kitties, I was preparing her for her forever family more than I would ever know…

((...Stay tuned for her adoption blog…))

Check out Bindi and Kya in action below!

                                                         

The Problem with Perfect Dogs: They're all taken.

Although Bindi’s previous life is mostly unknown, I do know this: I know, without a doubt, that she was unsocialized, untrained and unfairly stripped of her potential to be adopted.  When a person goes to the shelter looking for a dog, they are looking for an easy dog, an obedient dog – basically put, an adoptable dog.  Bindi was not this. She was not even close.  Yes, she could pass a temperament test by not eating the fake hand put in her food and not biting the face off the pretend child that is in the same room, but as far as home life goes, Bindi would have been deemed as unadoptable.  She would have been returned to the shelter time and time again. Failed, time and time again.  Not only had this poor dog been abandoned and then forced to live in a shelter with concrete walls, but now she’s expected to be perfect the second she walks in to a home, expected to magically know and abide by all of the rules and expectations. 

When a person rescues a dog, they have to realize that their background is not all sunshine and flowers.  There is going to be a learning curve for the dog, for you and for your relationship together.  There’s a communication level that is going to take a few days, weeks, months to get right.  Unfortunately, today’s world wants immediate gratification and waiting is unacceptable.  So, that leaves sweet Bindi.  Due to the humans that raised her, or the lack thereof, it now gives her a slim to none chance of being successful in a home life.  Thankfully, there are foster programs full of people that understand that a dog needs some time to unwind, gauge the people around them, and learn to trust and respect the boundaries and limitations placed before them.

  

One big happy, family. None of this would have
happened in the first month of foster care.

Bindi was definitely way too curious and focused about cats when she came to me.This picture was taken 7 weeks after I started fostering her.
Although Bindi used to give my cat reason to distrust her, my kitty
no longer has any fear of her and frequently rubs up on her and doesn't move away when Bindi comes near her. 

Bindi is very, very trainable and can understand what you
want her to do quickly.  She's waiting for the 'ok' to begin
eating dinner here.

Bindi is one of the lucky ones.  She would have never, ever made it out of the shelter alive and lived to see old age.  Because, you see, Bindi couldn’t do anything in an acceptable fashion.  She had no control over her body, her mind, or her energy level.  This created chaos for every single moment of the day. That’s a stressful way to live, no matter how happy she looked on the outside.  She was sleep deprived because for weeks she was unable to actually relax enough to sleep. She was so over excited and stimulated that she would scratch me daily from not being able to control herself.  It took two weeks for her to be able to walk through the house in a somewhat normal fashion (and I say ‘normal’ very, very loosely).  It took over a month for us to go outside and even attempt to take a walk. But regardless, the amount of work I put into Bindi doesn’t bother me. What bothers me is that I had to fix someone else’s doing.  I had to undo two years of unacceptable behavior that she has learned because somebody refused to give her the time of day. Or night. Or ever. 
Bindi can now walk on a leash, knows an insane amount of commands, listens like a dream, gets along with my kitties, knows our routine, does awesome in a car and as I type this, is snoring on my lap, which she will do ALL DAY LONG if given the opportunity.  All of the previous things took 2 months of hard work to get to.  I hope people realize that at the shelter, there is no “house trained, crate trained, mellow, great with dogs, cats, kids, cars, doesn’t shed, etc, etc, etc” because if there was, that dog wouldn’t be there. They’d be at home with the owner that taught them all of those things and put the time and effort in to make sure their dog was a wonderful, confident part of the family.  The dogs in the shelter are broken, defeated and most times, on their last strand of hope.  So if you choose to go to the shelter, which I hope you all do, please don’t turn away from the dog that’s jumping up and down incessantly or barking or spinning in circles.  In each of those cages is a dog that has the potential to be anything you want them to be, they just need to be given the chance to succeed.

Rescues in every state for every breed have many, many dogs available for adoption and a countless number of dogs needing a foster home.  If you have space in your heart and home for a dog, please consider fostering or adopting one of the dogs on their waiting list. If you can’t adopt or foster for whatever reason, please volunteer, advocate and educate. 

For a list of rescues or adoptable dogs in your area, visit PetFinder.com.