A Bedtime Story

Gracie has begun her road to therapy dog/Canine Good Citizen/whatever else.  No, we didn’t start training class.  No, we didn’t even sign up yet.  We began by changing minds.

A regular routine trip to PetSmart to get a manicure turned into quite the experience today.  First, I went to check on Gracie in the grooming salon and not only were they NOT holding her still like every one of my other fosters that I’ve ever taken there, but the second woman came from the back when seeing Gracie and climbed up on the table, sat cross-legged and snuggled with Gracie while she got her nails done!! We picked Gracie up when the booming announcement stated that she was ready and they ooh-ed and aah-ed over her for awhile before we left to go try on some clearance doggie winter sweaters.  Almost as good as trying on clearance human winter sweaters. Almost.  Anyway, after putting a few on and realizing that none worked, Gracie walked up to a family (mom, dad, 8 year old boy) that was looking at bird feed.  She wound her way politely around them, brushing up on them just enough for them to notice her.  I could almost hear her saying, “Hellllo?! Don’t you want to pet me?!” 

The little boy put out his hand, palm side up and allowed Gracie to sniff him, then squatted down and, while petting Gracie, turned and said, “You have a VERY nice dog!”.  The PetSmart attendant that was standing with us jokingly (but not really) said, “Yeah, <scoff>, well soon she’s going to be a 100 lb bully”. Without missing a beat, I said, “Actually, she won’t get much bigger than what she is now.  We have fostered all types of pit bulls – 8 of them - and we’ve never had one exceed 50ish pounds. And her demeanor won’t change, no matter her size, because our expectations of her won’t change.” He had no response and eventually slunk away without saying another word.  Hah!

While Gracie and the little boy were hanging out looking at the birds together like best buds, I was having a conversation with Mom.  She told me that a few years ago, her brother got a pit bull.  As she told me the story, I could tell saying the word ‘pit bull’ was uncomfortable for her and without realizing it, I went into full blown advocate-teacher mode.  She mentioned that she had never really had an issue but as soon as her son walked into her brother’s house, the dog ran up to him and bit him in his side.  Ever since then, he’s been leery of pit bulls … and so has she. Again, Mom has all the signs of feeling uncomfortable with conjuring up this memory – glancing sideways at Gracie and her son, rubbing her face and shifting her weight back and forth.  In a way that only teachers can understand, I turned on the voice and put all the right words together to lower her fears and defenses and allow the information to sink in. We chatted about fostering and how our previous dogs are now in homes with kids, cats and other dogs and how Gracie is expected to behave appropriately in all situations, much like a child needs to be taught explicitly how to react and act in various places.  Seeing her relax as she watched Gracie sniff and lick her son, she turned to her husband and said, “Well, that’s new information”.  He asked her what she meant and she clarified, saying that she had previously thought that all pit bulls were giant, strong and rarely controlled 80-100 pound dogs with giant heads, but this really changed her perception of them.  I took the opportunity to introduce this woman, who only knew of the word ‘pit bull’ to describe a large amount of vague characteristics of dogs, the actual names of the breeds that fall under the term ‘pit bull’**.  I also gave her some examples of improper identification: how a mastiff mix is going to be labeled a pit bull because both types of dogs have boxy heads, large body frames and short, bristly fur.  When the conversation lulled, I pulled out some treats from my purse and I gave them to the little boy so he could have Gracie do some commands.  We also talked about petting dogs from under their neck, instead of the top of their head.  The little boy thanked us and said bye to Gracie and I was psyched that Gracie had had such an impact on this family.  The mom said as we turned away, "See? Now you don't have to be afraid anymore..." <3

As we turn to leave, before we’ve even taken two steps away from this family, a woman with a GIANT long haired, 6 month old German Shepherd on a FLEXI LEASH is trying to hold back her dog as he’s barking and lunging at us. She yells over top of him, “IS YOUR DOG FRIENDLY?” as Gracie starts reacting t o the perceived threat and getting her hackles up.  Trey immediately body-blocked to get her attention, but seeing that the other woman had no control of her humongous, fluffy dog, Gracie was over threshold so he walked down one of the aisles with her.  Well, why stop now? I thought.  I walked over to her and began a conversation, making sure to mention that he was way too strong for a flexi leash and that a harness and a leash would go a long way with him.  She thanked me a zillion times – apparently no one had ever suggested one to her.  Seeing that her reaction was almost one out of desperation, I decided that I needed to give her my number and try to help her. As we are trying to get out the door, her dog breaks into a dead sprint while the woman is paying and almost drags her to the floor as she’s trying to get the lock on the leash.  He runs up to Gracie and Trey and I step in front of her, grabbing his collar and the lead and hold him so she can regain control.  She asks an associate to accompany her out of the store (for good reason) and mentions how she’s never going to a store again with him.  We spend some time getting Gracie to calm down and do some commands and I look up and realize that we have a crowd watching us.  We do a few more commands and were starting to lighten the mood when the groomer came back through, finishing it up for us by shouting, “Gracie! You are the sweetest dog EVER!”

Finally, we walk to get in the car, and who’s parked next to us? Crazy giant dog! I happened to have a way too large harness in my car that would never fit any dog that I ever have and gave it to her, then gave my number so that I could help this poor woman get control over this dog.  We got in the car feeling exhausted. But the good kind of exhausted.  Advocating responsible ownership is hard work.

And maybe that’s why people give up. Can you make a promise to not be the kind that gives up? Be the kind that graciously asks for help when you can’t or don’t know how to do it alone.  Be the kind that tries. Be the kind that wants to do it right while you can.  Because if you aren’t that kind, your dog isn’t receiving the life he deserves.  He may have love, food and shelter, but is he really living? Or is he just existing?

Gracie, thank you for being the amazing dog you are and the phenomenal dog that you are going to be.  You were meant to be saved, you were meant to be my angel and you were meant to be an advocate for your kind.  Rock on little girl!

 
**An informational game about the breeds of dogs that get lumped under the ‘pit bull’ term because of their common characteristics.  Kinda like how shih-tzus and golden retrievers have long hair, so they must be the same, right? ;) Let’s see how well you do!

Ripple Effect

 I haven’t written in a while and I apologize! There have been great changes in my life and I’m happily busy.  Among the biggest change is that I became a 6^th grade teacher to 79 students. Woohoo!

I always wanted to mix my love for pit bulls with my love for teaching, but I also was very aware of the fact that there are deadlines to meet, goals to be reached and tests to be taken and there’s little time for small talk in the classroom. My dilemma was that every time I would try to answer a question or relate something they said to my life, I found that I was fumbling to find something that didn’t involve pits or rescue.  When I realized that it was near impossible to show my students who I was without telling them about my dogs, I found a happy medium.  

For the last three-ish weeks, my students have been greeted each morning by a picture of a foster dog with their daily warm up:

“Bindi says “GOOD MORNING!” Don’t forget to get all your materials prepared for class!”

The students began inquiring about the foster dog’s pasts and what part I played in their lives. For the first week, they were still considered “pit bulls” and their questions centered around, “Have you ever been bitten?” or “Isn’t it scary?” But in the second week, they came to rely on one of my foster dogs greeting them in class and telling them about their daily warm up.  The chorus of inflected “Awwwww!”s made me grin, but what I didn’t know was that it’d get better. Much better.

Third week – no more new foster dogs.   One a day doesn’t go very far when we’ve only had 8 fosters.  So the warm up returned to Microsoft Word 2007, white background, black text – red or purple if I was feeling adventurous.  The kids were visibly disappointed. 

“You don’t have a dog for us today? Well, can you just tell us a story about one of them? Please?”

Woah. Wait a second. Dog? I was right - my students had made the jump. They had done what almost no adult can do.  Change their perception.  They had successfully advanced their thinking from, “Ms. Markwis’s pit bulls” to “Ms. Markwis’s dogs”.  All of my fosters had become just plain ol’ dogs to them – dogs that chew, bark, play and every now and then, drag Ms. Markwis into the greenway swamp (thanks Sage!).

I would have been thrilled for this to be the end of my story.   But it’s not. The final piece of the puzzle happened today and a smile was plastered on my face for the remainder of the day because of it.  During D.E.A.R. time (Drop Everything And Read), a few of my students had not brought a book so I instructed them to read their literature book.  About 5 minutes in, I look up from my book to tell one of my students to stop talking.  He says, while holding up his book, “But Ms. Markwis – there’s a story in here about how pit bulls are bad”.  I felt every head swing in my direction waiting for my response.  Before I could even open my mouth, one of my other students breaks the thick silence and blurts out, “Can we rip out the page? We don’t want people reading that junk.”

Now – I don’t know what the article/story actually said, I need to go back and look at it.   But I realized that I had created a splash in the pool of my students and had formed a ripple effect in which these 70ish students (I’m not naïve enough to believe that I have a 100% success rate) now think of pit bulls for what they really are – dogs.  Even if a tenth of those students say one positive thing to one other person about pit bulls, that’s a definitive step in the right direction.  

And plus, anytime someone jumps on the bandwagon of your passion, it’s a good day.   It certainly WAS a “High Five Friday” today…